The first time I ever had pomegranate,
I was smoking a joint with you
In your room, at 19.
I was so ashamed to take the thing
You were giving to me.
I was so dizzy. So lost.
New to the world.
Everything was fresh, and stretched
Collecting rocks and sticks with you.
My Elysium now, It hurts so much to say.
You were so vibrant. And the world around you
Conformed itself to your beauty.
Everything was living.
I can still feel your head on my shoulder
It could not be more real.
Hiding place, we were saved in a way
Every day was you and I.
Every day was good, and felt powerful.
My Best Friend. I don’t know where to go.
I couldn’t handle it. I can see your eyes,
And the pain, my dismissal of it, you don’t know
You don’t even know.
You made so much of me who it is.
You showed me inside… You brought me into your
I was alive,
And ashamed to take
What you were giving me.
And I love you. I will love you.
I broke it open. I can’t put it back.
I can’t get it from you again.
That was my first time.
At 19, God help me, because this is the future I EARNED.
And it should have been easy. I’m watching myself continue to deny what was most good
And natural to me.
I felt the real thing, and I know I couldn’t
I need you so much more. I can’t get this right.
I broke it. I see your hands, and they are drifting away.
It does hurt.