I’m never going back
To a place like that,
Where no star can be known
And a white void
Suffocates the soil.
It was a dream I’d had,
That the course of our lives had diverged.
I don’t know about you, but I remember the night that I played back this recording for you.
For some reason I thought that we’d have this great Epiphany together.
For some reason I thought that you would feel the profound pain and wonder that I felt when I visited Snowbank City.
When I stumbled into an avalanche of emotion.
When I let my mind get the best of me
And dig its claws into my guts.
I was fucked up for so long
Over something I really couldn’t help.
My own feelings.
It’s crazy how we can spend so much time on this Earth,
Surrounded by human egos, exchanging all sorts of words and actions, but really not giving or taking too much.
At least not enough to really learn each other.
You know, the deepest and most troubling part of visiting Snowbank City, was the pain of being misunderstood, and unable to communicate what I really was feeling during my time there.
Now I know a lot more about the nature of that place, and to be honest I may as well have never left.
In some ways.
Then again, in some ways I’ve never been farther from that stage in my life.
I guess what I’m saying is I don’t expect people to feel exactly what I feel, anymore.
It was personal. And I was meant to take it personally.
Like all forbidden nightmare realms,
It was an intimate kind of place.
Heavy and hollow,
With that familiar, melancholy vibration of heartbreak.
And loss. So familiar.
I swore I’d never go back.
But this is the kinda place
That finds you.