FREAK

I can barely keep this back.

I can hardly hold it.

It won’t stay down much longer.

Bulging out, and flexing against me

From under my skin,

Violating my right to pretend

That I’m not about to start laughing

For seemingly no reason. But there’s every reason.

The absurdity of the everyday minutiae

Brings me to the limit.

Pain, personal tragedy, the most inappropriate occasions

Send my brain spinning into what must be described as adapted defense.

It’s funny as hell. 

But I have to remember, only I can hear it. Only I can see it.

The inner freak, that is so much stronger. The one who cracks up in the face of fickle misfortune.

The one who drools with anticipation of the delicious opportunity to defile moments of quiet contemplation.

The inner freak.  Its funny as hell.

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